On being seen without forcing visibility There’s a lot of talk about being visible, as if visibility is some kind of end point, proof that you matter. But being visible is not the same as being seen. Visibility is an action. You put something out there, you take up space, you show yourself. But being seen happens on the other side. It doesn’t just require my presence, but the willingness of someone else to truly receive. And that’s where the tension lies. Because you can do e

I give freely and still my garden grows. We draw to us those who vibrate on a similar pain frequency. Everyone who enters our life acts as a mirror, reflecting both our wounds and their own. This truth began to reveal itself to me unconsciously when I got divorced in 2014. It had been a very intense and painful relationship, and once the divorce was finalized and I was able to recover, the first thought that came to me was: Okay Es, what on earth is still unresolved in you th

No One Wants to Remember Trauma. "No one wants to remember trauma. In that sense, society is not much different from the victims themselves. We all want to live in a world that feels safe, controllable, and predictable, and victims remind us that this is not always the case. To understand trauma, we must overcome our natural resistance to face that reality and learn to summon the courage to listen to the testimonies of those affected by trauma."
 Bessel van der Kolk, The Body