Mirror

Poetry by Esther Claus

I refuse to sit in stories that

broke me,

to hold up pain like it still owns

me.


I will not place the past

before my feet,


those old ghosts of shame,

anger and defeat.

I refuse to be a prisoner


of someone else’s harm.

I refuse to let my story


be shaped by their sin.


I am not what happened to me.

I am what I chose to become.

But the body remembers


what the mind cannot bear,

the subconscious whispers


what the voice cannot share.

There was no way

I could keep living the same way.

Pretending I was okay


while my body screamed,

my heart hid behind walls no one could climb,

and my mind,


a battlefield of thoughts


that never slept.

And neither did I.

Sleep left me.


Peace ran from me,

and what I thought I’d buried


clawed its way back

from the corners of my soul.


The trauma I hid


wasn’t done with me yet.

But then…


I birthed my soul contract.

And he, in his innocence,


placed a mirror before my face.


No judgment.


Just clarity.


And he said:

“Mommy…
stop hurting yourself.


I don’t deserve this.”

I needed to do something scary,

I needed to be brave.


And so I did.

I stood tall,

through the darkest hours,


and turned those monsters

into flowers.

Because of him,


the cycle ended with me.

Because of him,


I broke the chain.

I set myself free,


so he could grow up free.

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